Do you know why most people don’t achieve what they really want?  It’s not because they are not disciplined enough. I believe the main reason they don’t achieve their goals is that they are not focused on their why.  What’s your why? Your why is the reason you do what you do. It’s what gets you out of bed in the morning. It gives you energy and brings meaning to your life.  We all have a why. Unfortunately many of us lose our why in the day to day struggles.  People who are successful do one thing better than the rest of us. They never lose their why. Your why will keep you motivated and pushing through the challenges and roadblocks that you will face.  If you want to do one thing in 2010 that will help you achieve more; get clear on your why.  Write it down. Read it every morning when you wake up. Make sure it is so powerful that it brings you to tears.( or at least close).  

I am currently working with a person who wants desperately to quit his job and own his own business. He has his business up and running but at this point it is not bringing in the revenue he needs to quit his job. However, I wouldn’t bet against this guy. It’s not because he’s smarter or more disciplined than everyone else. It’s because his why is so strong that it motivates him to do the things he needs to do every day.  He is driven to get where he wants to go and he won’t let anything get in his way.  That is what a powerful why can do for you.

There is a great video titled ” The last lecture”, which features a professor, Randy Pausch, who is dying from a brain tumor and is giving his last lecture. It is a highly inspiring video. In the video Randy Pausch talks about obstacles he has faced and makes the comment that obstacles are put in our way to show us how much we care about something. In my work as a coach I think this may be the biggest difference I have noticed between high performance and mediocrity. When we are at our best we see obstacles for what they are; nothing more than challenges. In addition, we become motivated BECAUSE of the challenge. We actually get energy from the problem. However, when we are not at our best we have a tendency to see obstacles as mountains; unmovable and forever lasting. The obstacle takes energy from us and makes it almost impossible to get past. What is interesting is that the size or complexity of the problem seems to have nothing to do with how we view it. I have seen an entrepreneur on the brink of bankruptcy view the situation as nothing more than a short term challenge. I have also seen the same person paralyzed by having too many “to do’s on his task list.

The question then becomes how do you make the shift from seeing obstacles as mountains to seeing them as what they really are; nothing more than short term obstacles. The answer is actually quite simple; practice seeing them as obstacles and not mountains and the rest is easy. If you are able to recognize in yourself how you are perceiving a challenge and can make a shift in your thinking than the solution may come much faster and easier than you thought possible. Here is a simple process to help you do just that.

1. Make a list of the 2-3 biggest challenges you are facing right now.
2. Think about how you are feeling about each challenge. Does it overwhelm you, or are you energized by it? If you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, powerless than you are most likely seeing it as a mountain.
3. Next to each challenge write down whether or not your current perception of this challenge is either as a mountain or an obstacle. (its good to actually write it down on paper) If it’s a mountain, cross out the word mountain and write down obstacle. Pay attention to any changes in your perception you may have just by writing down the word obstacle.
4. Once you feel a slight change in your thinking, brain storm on ways that you could get past this challenge. While you are doing this keep saying to yourself, this is nothing more than an obstacle. Write a list of everything you could do to solve this problem.
5. If you are still stuck try doing this with a friend, sometimes others can help us see solutions that we can’t.

By making the shift from mountain to obstacle you actually create a shift in your brain activity from your emotional brain to your logical brain. When you look at it as a mountain you get stuck in your emotional brain and have a hard time coming up with solutions. When you see it as an obstacle, you calm the emotional brain, and shift to themore logical part of the brain. When you do this you begin to access your logic and creativity which you will need to use to get past this issue. It is a simple shift but one that can have big implications. I use this quite a bit and it really does help.

I am addicted to email. I check it constantly. If I’m not at my computer I check it on my phone while I’m driving, coaching my sons soccer game, talking to my wife or kids, and even doing yard work. About the only time I don’t check it is when I’m in a meeting with someone or sleeping. Recently I read a great book called “The Power of Full Engagement.” It is written by two sports psychologists who teach executives how to perform at a higher level. They focus on helping people improve their performance by managing their energy. If you often feel tired during the day, or are exhausted at the end of the day, you are most likely doing a poor job of managing your energy.

One of their key concepts is that you should focus on tasks for a period of 90 minutes and then move onto something else. You should limit your multitasking, That means not checking emails every time you hear a beep. Checking email constantly will drain your energy, make you less productive, and more irritable. Their advice is to check email twice a day! What I noticed was that my email had taken control of my life. It even made me slightly anxious, always waiting for that next email. While it wasn’t easy to check email twice a day, after a few days I found myself feeling and thinking a little bit differently. I felt less controlled by email, and realized that I had gotten away from doing some of the things that I really enjoyed doing because I was always reacting to my emails. I also realized that rarely do I get an email that is urgent and needs immediate attention.

In the book the authors interview many top executives and find that the most productive don’t check email on a regular basis. The top executives have strict routines that they follow and many check email in the morning or the evening.

Are you ready to give up your email addiction? Here is a challenge. For one day try checking your email only once in the morning and once in the afternoon. You might be surprised by how much control email has on you. I can guarantee only one thing. You will survive.

If you are a football fan you have obviously heard that Brett Favre is considering returning to football after retiring this past spring.  You are also probably aware that for the past 3 years he has struggled mightly with his decision of whether or not to retire or come back to play football. It seems to me that Brett might be suffering from a lack of what is called “impulse control.”   Impulse control is a critical competency in emotional intelligence.  When a person has impulse control they may feel a certain way but they don’t always act on those feelings. For example; you may be angry with an employee but you don’t react until you have time to think it through. In Favre’s case it has been reported that he is feeling “the itch” to come back.  That itch is an emotion or a feeling. Listening to other athletes comment on Favre it is an itch that many athletes have after they retire. However, with strong impulse control you are able to manage that “itch” and think logically through the situation. In Favre’s case he may recognize that it is normal to feel this way and think back to the reasons he retired.  People with low impulse control tend to react to every emotion and are not able to think it through.  My guess is that this is most likely a tendency that we are born with and that some have this ability more than others.  Never the less it can be developed and is a critical competency that a leader must possess.  What does low impulse control look like in the business world?  Here are a few examples;

1. Losing it in a meeting and yelling at someone.
2. Reacting to every problem as if it were the end of the world
3. Making a major decision without taking time to look at all of the factors and other possibilities.

We are probably all guilty of this to some degree. Learning to manage our impulses and think through an issue is important at work and at home. It can keep you from snapping at the kids, making bad decisions, and being seen as someone who is over reactive.  How do you do this? We’ll discuss next time.